A moment just before I drift into my dream.

Stolen moments

Fragments of conversations

So little was spoken, yet

A lot has been conveyed and

Understood.

Talk with silence, with laughter, with gentle teasing.

Complaints, compliments and sarcasm.

Longings and cherishing

Imagining and reminiscing

Feel of your hands on my skin

Sweet scent of your breathe.

A warm glow rushes in my vain

Drifting me off to my wonderland

And there you are

Smiling, awaiting my return.

Breathlessness

Sharp piercing pain.
The feel of cold cold blade in the warmth of soft tissues.

Somewhere a voice echoes.
Cut it. Cut it loose.
Run. Run fast.
Keep at least a light-year’s distance.
But sudden surge of weakness engulfs.
Daunting breathlessness.
I see my efforts crumbling down in vain.

Labyrinth

Bitter chocolates and crushed almonds
Sweet lavender and melon musk
A little of my smile
An ounce of tear
A spoonful of melancholy
Stir it with moonlight
Garnished it with my heart’s passion.
I had once cast a spell on you.

We have come a long way
Of kingdoms and revolutions
Of castles and cathedrals
Of city lights and country roads
Traveling at times together
Or most of the times alone.
Sometime away from each other
But every time towards each other
enchanted under the spell
Through the labyrinth of time.

If Only

Words unspoken, let the eyes talk.

Still silence that speaks volume.

I say I miss you

You say, so be it.

All in our minds. The words unspoken.

Sometimes eyes can’t capture the feelings felt,

And the shadowing turmoil within.

So close and yet so far apart.

If only I could give voice to my unspoken words.

If only you could read the same language of my eyes.

If only.

Homecoming

The longing to merge, the fear to let go
For all our uncertainties and fading dreams
There is a heart that understands
There are hands that lift up and gently
Kiss the tears away.

Despite my own fears and imperfections
I would be there too
Standing in the chaos, I would
Be your mirror, reflecting back
Your faith in me.

Together we go singing and walking
Yet in silence our hands clasped
Moving in one rhythm
Together we watch as universes crumble
And galaxies reborn.

Be not afraid for joy awaits our homecoming.

Through a door she thought she would never leave, let alone open...

She dreamt about the big rust colored door many times, but in her dreams the door was never locked- it was always left slightly ajar and she could see shadows behind it shifting from the corner of her eye. These shadows were from a parallel world outside and they called out to her even in the silence. Every night she dreamt that the door would open in front of her, but it never happened. Lucid dreaming was the order of the day and she imagines herself in the new world almost every minute. And one day she walked out.

Maybe it was these restless shadows that spurred her into walking out of that door in her waking hours or maybe it was just the recurrence that she took as an omen to move on. Where the journey would take her, she did not know. But she knew that she had to find herself and it had to be away from her past. Trudging down the crooked street that lead to the fields and beyond, she walked excited…..she could feel the wind blowing on her face and among the reeds. She could smell wet earth and rustlings of the leaves. She came to a strange river – rare blue color water- and it dawned on her that she is standing at the edge of the River Lethe- the river of oblivion.
She went into a trance, lost in the limitless space of time, traveling with passing time, words by Plato, echoed in her mind “ …the river of Unmindfulness, whose water no vessel can hold; of this they were all obliged to drink a certain quantity, and those who were not saved by wisdom drank more than was necessary; and each one as he drank forgot all things”
Ancient Greeks believed that souls were made to drink from the river before being reincarnated, so they would not remember their past lives. Heroes and virtuous folk drank from Lethe on their way to underworld after death to be freed from the sorrows and suffering of a past life; Whereas mediocre souls drank from the river Lethe as punishment so that they would not know who they were when they arrived to work, machine-like, for eternity in the Asphodel Meadows.
In that very instant she was gripped by sudden rush of melancholy engulfing her robbing her out of her senses, she no longer remembered where she was, who she was and what was her purpose when she first trudged along the rust colored doors. Those were rhetoric questions. She quickly bent down, dipped her hand in the quiet, cold blue strange water and drank a handful.
Next she remembered waking up in her apartment, on her bed, suddenly freed of her guilt, her past, her weight. Light as a feather she happily looked at the growing twilight of dusk. Quickly she got ready in her leather mini-skirts and stilettos and ran to keep her appointment at a private strip tease show. Yes a thousand possibilities and prospects lay ahead of her and yes she is truly happy.

Along with the inputs of Sandesh.. real man of genius :)

Liberate

Cold hands and throbbing sight
Longing to belong
To embrace the wind
To hold on the passing time

Cold feet and still breathe
Gearing up to break free
To transcend the celestial delights
To pass the placid night

Cold heart and empty voice
Trying to sing a passionate song
Resonating laughter in the
Temple of my mind

If happiness is the longing of
Recurrence and repetition
Then blessed are the forgetful,
For they get the better
Even of their blunders.

Phenomenon

While the waking world sleeps
I the Shadow , prowl the streets.

Bending and curving
gliding and flying.

I knock on the sleep stricken mortal's window.
Scratch. Scare. Pound. Plunder. Listless and bleed.

Blessed are the ones who have mastered the art of sound sleep.
Rest are just waiting their time
and pretending to sleep.

Steps

Down the wood’s lonesome trail
A long long time ago
In the middle of the night
I followed you.

The night was young
The moon was strong
And the stars were
Looking down at us.

I called your name
I asked you to stop
I wanted to match
My pace with yours


I wanted to savour the midnightsun
Drink the gleaming sunshine
Feast on the soothing night breeze
Here with you

I thought you slowed down
But only in my heart
You were scuttling right ahead
Urgently. Almost teasingly.

I knew it then
It was meant for me
To keep up with you

I saw you turn
A backward slight glance.
I heard you chuckle
From a distance

I called you again
Implored you to slow down
But you did not.

With my hurried steps and anxiety
I kept chasing you into the forest
Yes, you had vanished
And yes I was lost.

It is..what it is.

You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you.You have to go to them sometimes.- Winne the Pooh

She has a tendency to panic. Makes it hard to trust her.
He is chronically greedy. Grew up dirt poor.
Money is everything.
She is a channel of pure wisdom, a naturally gifted seer.
He is a genius, able to connect vast intellectual concepts.
She is fragile, new, and green to the concept of cause and effect.
He is angry, wounded, and perpetually antagonistic.

People are where they are – despite our desire for them to be further along, more evolved, more fun, closer to our level, less intimidating, more relatable, easier to access, or simply more like us.
If you take the desire for someone to be different out of the equation – you can meet them where they are. You can meet them in the real moment. You can meet them in their despair or their magnificence. And when you truly meet them, with no wishing for something different to wedge you apart, you’ll know what to do. You will have the compassion to be calming, the humility to be reverent, or the wisdom to walk away.

The question becomes, how would you treat “wounded,” or “rage,” or “brilliance”? Not how would you help (or coerce, or plead with) someone be more healed, or less angry, or more down to earth.

They are where they are. Consider the facts, spare yourself the desire for change. Remove the friction of wanting to improve them. And engage. It’s the only way change happens.

The One.

A room to dance.
A meadow to lay down in wonder gazing the night sky.
A solitary forest trail.
The night breeze on a solitary forest trail.
The quietness of the night. Music of the dark. Melody of night creatures, of chirping crickets.
Somewhere in the forest the night bird sings.
One can hear the flaps of the wing.
Smell the earth, feel the dew. Bask into the moonlight.
One with the night bird, with trees, with grass, with forest, with breeze, with moon, with universe.
I am the universe.

Greeting an old friend!

same day same night same rut.
the rut of the same things.
the things in the same rut.
Why and what am i doing awake at this insane hour... when wise people in the world choose to sleep..give rest to their mind and body. live in peace or at least try to. What am i doing here? living in the rut.. or making my own rut. It is a spiral staircase.. no matter whether you are going up or down you are bound to get drizzy.
and just when you realize this.. insomnia greets you like a long lost friend catching up over a drink at 6 pm in the corner bar... you are bound to spend time past midnight..
So I should be cheerful and greet my old friend...Mr Insomia.

New Beginnings

Finally its here...the New Year... beginning of a new Decade...as i sit in this cozy bed..with my second cup of ginger pepper tea..i cant help musing about the year 2009, or for that matter the decade 2000!! I have really come a long way since then...from a pimple faced shy gangly girl of 17... now a woman whose not so gangly...or pimple faced.. shy in her own ways and yes,.. on the wrong side of twenties!! (nomenclature given to any single woman who is independent working in a metro and is above 25...by her neighbours...lol) its been a decade of revelations, of excitement, of discovery, of purpose, of making your niche, of being independent. of lots of ups and downs.. of heartbreaks, of friendship...of completing a semicircle in the circle of life :)
As in step into another decade... i hope i do have something interesting to write in 2020 :)
I am looking forward for whatever is in store for me ..my destiny, and to my life!!